At the risk of vomiting uncontrollably on my laptop, I’ve got another Laker thought:
Having recently seen “The Hangover” like the rest of America, it dawned on me how striking the parallels are between the intrepid cast of the movie, and this year’s Laker squad.
Kobe is Phil, the cool guy who everyone gravitates toward and the de facto leader of the group, even though he’s kind of an asshole. Phil also has a wife and kids, yet doesn’t hesitate to hit on strippers over the course of the movie… I don’t think I have to explain the parallel there.
Odom is Stu because you never know what you’re going to get. One minute, Stu is a respected dentist with a sweater tied around his neck; the next, he’s missing a tooth and marrying a hooker at a quickie Vegas wedding. Meanwhile, Lamar over the course of his career has smoked enough marijuana to fill an entire forest, developed a bizarre candy addiction (and I wouldn’t rule out those two things having a cause-and-effect relationship), and oh, by the way, is one of a half-dozen guys tops who has the potential to slap together a triple-double any night he walks on the court. I don’t get Lamar Odom. Let’s move on.
Derek Fisher is Alan. The rest of the crew hated Alan and tried to pretend that they didn’t know him, mostly because for the majority of the movie Alan ranged from completely worthless in the best of times (with his weird comments, singing, and horribly unkempt appearance) to self-sabotaging in the worst (by roofie-ing his friends). Fish has been the object of scorn for Laker fans all season long for losing the life on his jumper and getting lit up on D all season long. But each one completely redeemed themselves at the most crucial time; Allen made back the group’s money at the blackjack table while Fish buried those 3 pointers in Game 4 of the Finals. Needless to say, nobody’s complaining now – at least until the sequel/championship defense
***Sidebar [and since I don’t have sidebars, I’m using italics]: My buddy Ryan astutely predicted that Zach Galifianakis’ performance would mirror Steve Carrell’s from Anchorman in that he would not only tear it up in this role and steal the show as the 4th lead, which he did, but would use that performance to springboard to much bigger things. Time will tell, but I think he hit the nail on the head. Back to the column***
The two biggest upgrades that made this championship possible for the Lake Show were getting Trevor Ariza and Pau Gasol, and accordingly they represent the biggest upgrade in the movie – Stu going from his completely uptight and borderline insane almost-fiancé to the smoking hot, if promiscuous Heather Graham. Stu’s quality of life had to go up at least 300% after making that switch but to be honest, I’m not sure that 300% even begins to scratch the surface of how big those two trades were for LA. Can you imagine Kwame Brown, Brian Cook, Jarvaris Crittendon, and Marc Gasol (the Billy Baldwin to Pau’s Alec) instead of Pau and Ariza? The Lakers would struggle to be anything higher than a #7 seed. The moral of the story: sometimes you need a bit of luck – and two stupid GMs – to reach the top of the mountain.
Andrew Bynum is Tyler the Baby. Both made were indispensable in making their respective works reach their full potential, both are super young and destined for much better things in the future, and both completely disappeared about a third of the way through the journey.
Finally, Phil Jackson is the Mercedes. He’s old, classy, and still on top of his game, but more significantly, both the car and Phil’s triangle offense were reduced to scrap metal by the end. Still, the beat up wreck of a Benz got the crew to the wedding, and the give-Kobe-the-ball-and-get-out-of-the-way offense [trademark pending] got the Lakers a championship. Without the car, the crew never would have gotten to or from Vegas, or to the desert to pay Mr. Chow. Without Phil, the team would have lost all structure, and Kobe probably would have rebelled.
Deep, huh? OK, probably not, but the parallels are there. I can only hope that like this movie in a few weeks, the Lakers will become completely forgettable…or since that’s not happening, at least an entertaining “Hangover” sequel.
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