Things Mike Likes
The Mavericks Signing Drew Gooden and Tim Thomas.
Believe me, I'm as surprised as you are to be typing that. But for one year deals, its low risk, high reward.
Gooden gives the Mavs a legit, 6'10'' guy who is athletic and can guard the athletic, hybrid 4/5s like Denver's guys, McDyess, Okur, Aldridge, etc. who run the circles around Erick Dampier (who, say what you will, can do an above average job on the bigger, slower types like Okafor and Duncan). He's a great rebounder, and is an honest to God post scorer, which is something the Mavs haven't had literally since I've been alive. For the record, I'm 22. That's not a good thing.
The downside is he has the basketball IQ of a retarded zebra, and rocks a hideous goatee that he calls "the Johnny" in honor of the Pirates of the Caribbean star, which is something I'd associate more with a male escort than a professional basketball player. He's probably the weirdest Mav since Dennis Rodman's ever-too-brief tenure, so it will certainly be interesting.
Oh, and don't think Donnie Nelson doesn't know this already. Actual quote from the Mavs GM: He’s certainly got personality but the way he brings it to a locker room is a plus.
What does that even mean?!?!? Is Drew Gooden going to strut around naked, imploring everyone to run their hands through "the Johnny"? Is he going to challenge Dirk to a "who can go without shaving the longest contest," which he's done before with the equally insane DeShawn Stevenson of Washington, because Dirk probably wouldn't back down from that and I don't want our franchise player looking like a homeless person.
Now I'm excited! There is no ceiling for what Drew Gooden might do, which is equal parts hilarious and horrifying.
Look, having a crazy person on your team is akin to heavy drinking. It's a lot of fun at first, until you wake up one day with a huge headache and wondering what possibly could have possessed you to think this was a good idea. You swear it off for a while afterward because you know better...but sooner or later, you gloss over the bad parts in order to focus on just how ridiculous and absurd it all was. So you go back for more, figuring it will be different this time, and the cycle begins again.
Is any of that a good thing? No, probably not. But you know you're at least a little bit excited.
Now, about Tim Thomas....
First of all, I did, in fact, have the option to choose a picture of Timmy that was taken after 1997. I declined said option.
As for the actual analysis, I'm going to turn that over to a series of text messages from my dear buddy Jonno:
#1 Tim Thomas. Hahahaha.
#2 I actually like the move as another 1 year deal. I'm glad we signed Tim Thomas. That is not something I thought I would say ever.
#3 Our locker room will be very interesting this year
That's all you need to know, really.
One more reason why this is probably a steal. Tim Thomas embodies everything I loathe about professional athletes in that he wastes his talent, and really only tries when he has to earn his next paycheck. Well, guess what? He's on a one year deal at the veteran's minimum, and at age 32, is likely playing for his last contract. He's going to be plenty motivated, which means the 3 pointers (over 40% in 3 of the past 5 years) are going to fall. Timmy's pulled this act before, so I wouldn't be the least bit surprised if it's bombs away this season in Dallas.
Conventional NBA Line-Ups
So when my beloved Dallas Mavericks are putting together a roster that eerily resembles what the old Phoenix Suns offenses looked like, and plan to play a crunch time lineup that involves Dirk at center, let's just say I'm a little concerned.
This team needs another center, one that gives them more than what Dampier and Gooden are liable to give them. The ideal candidate is the extremely available Chris Kaman, who provides a big time post presence on offense, double digit rebounding, and blocks a shot and a half per game on D.
A Greg Buckner-Shawne Williams-Kris Humphries triumvirate works under the cap and saves the Clippers about $5.5 million this year assuming they buy out Williams and waive Buckner (only 1 million guaranteed on his 4.2 million dollar contract), and they don't need Kaman with Marcus Camby around. Well, they will when Camby bolts LA after this season but don't tell the Clips that.
Getting a center like Kaman firmly plants this Dallas team firmly in the West's top 3, with potential for more. Standing pat leaves them somewhere in the murky, 3 to 6 range depending on what else they do for the rest of the offseason.
Hearing About Important Sports Stories
As opposed to the avalanche of recycled garbage about Brett Favre, Mike Vick, and Erin Andrews.
This is the dark side of the instant access, 24/7 nature of the society we live in. Once the media opened the Pandora's box that is the Internet, they not only opt to run with it but now feel compelled to do so. In other words, they constantly feel the need to provide a new angle, a new scoop, a new update...even when there isn't one to provide.
That's why we have The Brett Favre Saga (yes, it really does necessitate a proper name at this point), Michael Vick watch, and my two favorites, the LeBron video and the Tim Tebow-Steve Spurrier fiasco.
And really, who cares? None of this stuff is at all important, and in most cases it's truly irrelevant. Even if LeBron had gotten dunked on (and if you saw the video, it was more a case of Bron Bron getting out of the way because it wasn't worth the hassle of playing defense ), it's just another example of what happens to every superstar who plays the game professionally. Even if Tebow didn't get Spurrier's vote for All-SEC, he still won his spot by a 10 to 1 margin.
Get used to it, because it's the flip side of the coin that brings you box scores, stats, highlights, and news at the blink of an eye. Unfortunately, it's not going anywhere for a while.
Seeing Zlatan Ibrahimovic Play
Yes, I did manage to see Ibracadabra after all, in what turned out to be his last match with Inter Milan. I was planning on writing about it, too, but after spending 3 hours in traffic and subsequently only seeing 45 minutes of actual match time, I get drained even thinking about it. As my father described it as the worst driving experience of his life, and keep in mind this is a man who spent half his life in New York City. Moral of the story: don't live in Los Angeles.
The MLB Trade Deadline
As you can probably tell, after writing 2,000 words about it in my Roy Halladay column, which conveniently appears in the post directly below it.
"Shameless plug," you say? You are correct, sir.
And last, but certainly not least...
YouTube Tuesday!
No, I haven't forgotten. The link will be up in a couple hours. Get excited. Yes, that would constitute shameless plug #2. I'm quite OK with that.
No comments:
Post a Comment